methodology - HOW TO CURE INSOMNIA

Step 1: Play a football match against the Chinese Recreation Club veterans at 4 o clock when temperatures are in the 30-35 degrees celsius range.

Step 2: After running around for an hour and losing said match three two (after leading 2 nil at half time!), walk down the road for 10 minutes.

Step 3: Join your usual Sunday training session with your normal team. Play for one and a half hours in the midfield position.

This will have the intended effect as described in the title. You will find that you will not be able to stand in the shower out of sheer tiredness, that you will only be able to eat dinner and then collapse into bed until the next morning, hence regulating your sleeping patterns to more normal hours.

  ¶ 10:15 pm